Before anything else, I would like to say that I was a firm believer of the saying, “forgive but never forget” but that was before I discover the importance of real self-love.
From all the people who can write this article, I believe that I may be in the last option. Why? Well, that’s because I don’t forgive people easily. And for so many years, I thought that it was my strength when in fact it was really my weakness.
Yes, being strong is a huge factor in surviving this sh*tty world but you have to realize that it’s not about surviving, it’s about living.
To the people who are looking for self-love, trust me, you’ll find it after you make peace with your past. So, how will you do it?
Revisit All the Unpleasant Memories
I know, I know. How can you forgive if you’ll revisit all the memories that still hurts? It’s normal to feel pain, fear, and hatred, these emotions are uncontrollable.
Face your fears and feel free to cry or be sad for the last time. Don’t worry, you won’t lose anything from releasing all your emotions.
Accept Everything with Open Arms
Now that you’ve felt everything again, you need to accept the fact that these things really happened and there’s nothing you can do to change it.
Remove the wishing stuff, “I wish we never met”, “I wish we had more time” it’s already done so don’t drown yourself from the things that will never change.
Learn to accept and let it all go.
Find the Good in the Bad
You’re lying if you’ll say that you didn’t felt any happiness from your past. Of course, you did and it felt good at that time.
I remember when someone told me that I shouldn’t hate (or curse) people from my past no matter what they did. Because at some point, they really made me happy and I know that it’s not a lie.
I’m not saying that you should be thanking people who hurt you. What I’m saying is that you should be thankful for all the good memories that you had together.
Yes, it didn’t last and it won’t probably come back. But that happiness and love that you’ve felt helped you to become the person you are today. That’s great, right?
Forgive and Ask for Forgiveness
Now that you’ve felt the pain again, accepted reality, and appreciated the happy memories, it’s time to forgive the people from your past.
Just what I’ve said earlier, I don’t forgive people easily, “forgive but never forget” that was my motto. But at this very moment, I want you all to know that after so many years I’ve finally decided to swallow my pride and forgive the people from my past. And you know what? It felt so freaking good.
Forgiving wholeheartedly may take some time but it’s all worth it. Also, don’t forget to ask forgiveness for all the mistakes that you’ve done in the past. Let’s admit it, we’re not perfect and that’s okay.
Forgive and ask for forgiveness without expecting anything in return. Forgive and you will be forgiven, you owe it to yourself.
After making peace with your past, you might be wondering how will it turn into self-love. Well, making peace is the greatest gift that you can give to yourself.
Sleeping peacefully without any burden in your heart is self-love. Deciding to let go of the pain and face your fears is self-love, forgiving others and asking for forgiveness is self-love. And it doesn’t matter if it will take you years to do these things. What’s important is you’ll do it wholeheartedly and willingly.
To all the people who haven’t forgive their past yet, I hope that someday you’ll find a way to give your heart some peace. You deserve it.
“Make peace with your past so it won’t destroy your present.” -Paulo Coelho